2020 has been a fire that you can’t put out. Kind of like Centralia, Pennsylvania… An eerie and somewhat scary year that you hope will come to an end, but just keeps on burning away. Welcome back to my blog! I had to take a leave of absence because like many others, 2020 has wreaked havoc on my life! Here’s the short version of my story:
- I broke up with my abusive ex boyfriend
- Started Dating a new and amazing guy
- Covid-19 hit The United States
- Had to move out of my apartment
- Started living with my new boyfriend
- Got bit by a dog
- My old laptop went to shit
- Got knocked up
- Got a kitten
- Had to leave my job as an esthetician because I am high risk for Covid-19
It’s still not super short, but we have caught up to the present. This year has been a wild ride! I can’t believe we still has some loops to get through. I know it’s been hard for everyone. A pandemic is something none of us could ever prepare for. When you think of the word pandemic, you think back to influenza, the black plague, or even measles. Who would’ve thought in our lifetime that we would be part of something as big as this?
Condoms are for Slut People
If you’re a 90 Day Fiance’ fan, I hope you appreciate my heading. This year has brought about some challenges, but it has also brought two amazing people into my life. (One I haven’t even met yet.) After I left my ex, I went to a little app called Tinder. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, just some compliments, some guys to give me a big head about my looks, and possibly some free fries. That’s when I met Nick.
We started dating, and we kind of got thrown in the fast lane. After only, maybe two months of dating, the whole pandemic happened. My mom didn’t feel it was safe for me to stay in Allegheny County by myself, so I started staying with Nick. That turned into me basically moving in when the Stay-at-Home Order took months. Luckily, we had such a strong connection from the get-go and we get along great, so the transition was easy.
We started planning for when the pandemic ended…trips to Hawaii, going on dates, what our future would look like, moving South… All of those plans and future rendezvous were about to change. I felt a little off for an entire week. My stomach has had problems in the past, but this was a bit different. I was emotional to an extreme, but I chalked it up to being my period coming up. Then my period was late. I had been late before, so I didn’t worry right away. Nonetheless, we got a pregnancy test just to be sure.
No, no, Noooo!
I remember thinking to myself, “Oh, this will be negative. I couldn’t be pregnant!” I kept good track of things on an app. I can’t be on birth control, but I’m pretty careful… Not careful enough apparently. My mellowness soon turned to sheer panic as I watched a faint second line slowly appear. All Nick heard was “No, no, nooo!” And for some odd reason, he thought I peed on myself…
Two positive pregnancy tests, multiple panic attacks, and a quarter-life crisis later… I started to come to terms with being a mother to be. Key word, “started.” Not everyone is going to be super thrilled about having a child on the way. For me, it was because I still feel that I am so young, don’t know what I’m doing, and Nick and I still had a very young relationship. Luckily, he was way less panicked than I was. I think this whole thing has made our relationship even stronger.
Today, I am almost 14 weeks pregnant, and the journey has been rough. Having body issues, gaining weight has made me feel less confident in myself. I know it’s natural, but it’s sometimes hard to feel beautiful when you’re pregnant. I wake up feeling like absolute shit. I feel like I’ve never slept enough, could vom at any moment, and have had almost daily migraines. Just know that if you had an amazing pregnancy, where you felt like you were glowing, and had amazing hair… I am over the moon jealous of you.
Call of Doodie
If you’re not afraid of having a kid, you’re lying. I wish I could time travel to the second I meet my baby, without having to go through the whole labor process. I spend my spare time torturing myself with pictures of epidural needles and scrolling through pregnancy forums. Will I shit myself? People say that’s the last thing on your mind, but I am worried about it right now. Will I tear and need stitches? That just sounds like a whole lot of “Hell no.” My mom told me you can’t leave the hospital until you have a bowel movement. I never thought of what it would be like to take your first shit after giving birth, but here we are. Frankly, it sounds horrible.
Even with all of my shit-stained worries, I am excited. Picking out a theme for a nursery, planning parties and showers, and doing a little home renovating have been, oddly, therapeutic. We chose a jungle theme for the nursery. I hope that the baby will remember having cool animals on it’s wall. We’re only sticking around Pennsylvania for two years at the most. If I’m being honest though, it’s a little bit for us to enjoy too.
The one thing that sucks is buying new clothes for yourself to accommodate your growing bump. (I thought my bra size was hard to find pre-pregnancy…) It’s expensive finding new bras, underwear, and season appropriate clothes to fit your fuller assets. It’s even harder when you’re currently unemployed. I took my Doctor’s advice, and had to leave the beauty industry for a while. Being pregnant and having asthma puts me at high risk for Corona. Looking for remote opportunities is harder than I imagined.
As for the future of Cat Hair on my Clothes, I hope to put together trendy maternity outfits. I feel like maternity clothes are so drab and modest. I plan on being stylish every step of the way without sacrificing my comfort. This may become more of a lifestyle blog than a fashion blog along my journey, but I’m okay with that. Mommy blogs are popular, right? I can’t wait to share pieces of my new life with all of you! I hope 2020 stops treating everyone like a toxic partner, and that we can all start wearing masks to slow this virus down! Stay safe and stay healthy!